I feel like I'm sneaking out of the asylum door that one of the orderlies left open. I'm all tip-toey hoping no one notices. I mean it was their decision in the first place, but still. I can't wait till I'm actually out for real and then I can be candid and share without fear of repercussion.

--In other news, James Brown's "Super Bad" is totally one of my favorite songs. Just because.


just a reminder that we're always the center of our own universe

i really can't seem to get over myself sometimes. I've put on a rather good lot of weight over the past year. i'm inherently lazy, and with the amount of stress i've managed to put on myself in recent months, it's really no wonder. looking at old pictures brings it home even more. i have these miny breakdowns, the quietest anxiety attack you ever did see. i get terribly insecure and it eats at me and i feel guilty for feeling bad about myself and the boyfriend tries to be supportive and caring and i beat myself up, how endearing. i can't forget about overreacting and reading into everything. deep down i know that sometimes people are socializing and can't talk to me whenever i desire but it still sends my dramatic imagination into outer space about my out of shape fat self. Never mind the whole changing caree path thing. I'm trying to remind myself that there was a time i savored change like the intial incline of a rollercoaster. I get to pick my method of bacon bringing for the next long while, where other folks are bogged down in mediocrity. the source of the anxiety is said bacon. I have no savings to speak of. I probab;y have a negative net worth. But now I'm on the phone with my bunny and he's being his sweet self and I feel like a minor league loon who needs to get a grip. Gotta love that rollercoaster.


The boyfriend is a doll. This is Matt, Monica, Mike, and yours truly at Matt's parents' house in North Carolina about 3 weeks before they deployed.

there is another

Happy Birthday Monica. She's 28 today. She's a medic, like me. She's here.

Camp Ashraf
The Mujahedin el-Khalq (MKO or MEK) main base is at Camp Ashraf, Iraq, about 100 kilometers west of the Iranian border and 60 kilometers north of Baghdad. The People's Mujahadeen, also known by its Persian name Mujahedeen-e Khalq (MEK), has been classified by Washington as a terrorist organization. Washington announced on 22 April 2003 that it had reached a ceasefire with the MEK. The next day MEK officials said the agreement allowed the MEK to keep its weapons and carry on its activities in Iran from Camp Ashraf. But June 2003 the US Military Police took control of Camp Ashraf and the MEK was consolidated and all weapons secured by MPs. As of September 2003 the 4,000 MEK members in the former Mujahedeen base were consolidated, detained, disarmed and were being screened for any past terrorist acts.

The 530th MP Battalion, maintained the MEK Detention Facility at Camp Ashraf.

According to the U.S. military, it does not hold any Iranian detainees but Iraqis accused of serious crimes such as murder and rape.

She's on my short list of for real best friends and all around favorite people. I don't have any pictures of her online or i'd share. She rocks.


I love it when a plan comes together

I can finally share what I've been working on for the past 2 months. The boyfriend turned a grand 25 years old on Friday.

His sister, her best friend, and I orchestrated a surprise party for him. He hasn't been the extra special birthday boy in quite some time so we decided to throw him a fete because he deserves it and he rocks.

It was quite the undertaking as he and I are on the phone constantly and I'm with him every weekend. He was totally surprised though, so yay us.

He really likes poker and gambling, etc. so we made out own casino theme. Of course he and the boys played cards for a while. This is what happens when you mix Jack Daniels and poker.

Happy Birthday Hunny Bunny