i really can't seem to get over myself sometimes. I've put on a rather good lot of weight over the past year. i'm inherently lazy, and with the amount of stress i've managed to put on myself in recent months, it's really no wonder. looking at old pictures brings it home even more. i have these miny breakdowns, the quietest anxiety attack you ever did see. i get terribly insecure and it eats at me and i feel guilty for feeling bad about myself and the boyfriend tries to be supportive and caring and i beat myself up, how endearing. i can't forget about overreacting and reading into everything. deep down i know that sometimes people are socializing and can't talk to me whenever i desire but it still sends my dramatic imagination into outer space about my out of shape fat self. Never mind the whole changing caree path thing. I'm trying to remind myself that there was a time i savored change like the intial incline of a rollercoaster. I get to pick my method of bacon bringing for the next long while, where other folks are bogged down in mediocrity. the source of the anxiety is said bacon. I have no savings to speak of. I probab;y have a negative net worth. But now I'm on the phone with my bunny and he's being his sweet self and I feel like a minor league loon who needs to get a grip. Gotta love that rollercoaster.