2005/05/20

Um, yeah, so I got a ticket for urinating in public once. Classy gal that I am, I was in New Orleans for Mardi Gras in '99 and the fascists chardge you to use public bathrooms, and I REALLY had to go. At this point most of lowere Louisiana had seen my luscious breasts anyway, so my modesty was out the door. It doesn't help that I'm a medic often attached to platoons with 30 to 40 guys. So I wobbled my drunk ass into an "alley" and proceeded to take the most relieving piss of the decade. Unfortunately said alley was in fact an entryway to an apartment and an amused police officer was standing behind me when I finished. He almost ticketed me for littering (tissue), but I think he was too amused. He said I was the only girl that night to get caught peeing. I had to pay $65 but it was worth not having it run down my leg. It was also worth the numerous strangers I made out with. And I still refuse to pay to use the bathroom.

2005/05/18

why bother putting fresh flowers on the sink if the toliet is stained and the bathroom smells like pee

Yuck. We went to D.C. for a doctor appointment yesterday, so that means I got to experience the glorious rest stops on I95 from NJ to lower Maryland. Nasty, nasty, nasty. Worse patrons than Walmart. I'd rather piss on the shoulder than in those potties, but I really don't want another ticket.