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I am the blahest blah that ever blahed right now. I kinda feel like I'm almost not here, like a hologram. It's been raining for a few days also. woohoo. The suffering and tragedy will always continue and pass. And as grey and down as I've ever felt, the thought of my last moment consisting of swing from a closet rod doesn't appeal to me in the slightest, but it did for someone and I hope he's at peace with himself if, in fact we really do continue on in a collective memory. I knew him casually.