I was jonesing for dinner and decided to drive straight to food from work, a direction i hadn't taken yet. Of course I got off the wrong exit and drove in a large circle for 30 minutes. Magically I decided to make a left and there was my yummy restaurant. I felt very psychic that moment, thank you.

Back to work. woohoo. At least I don't have to venture down the NJ turnpike, or the devil's asshole, anymore for at least a few more weeks.So now I'm back and i have no idea what my timeline is. I might have two more months or 6 more months. So I have to gather myself together and make neat piles before I hit the skids. There's nothing real entertaining about any of this, just need to get it out. I have so much to do. I have to find a new job, get my finances together, get rid of some minor debts, blah blah blah. maybe after i get a full night's sleep I'll be funnier.

Yeah Buddy

I am so goddamn tired. We spent a three day weekend in Carlisle, Pannsylvania at a huge truck show. Drank a lot of beer, ate hot wings, looked at cool trucks. It took 4 hours to get there Friday morning and almost 7 to get home on Sunday. The New Jersey Turnpike is a funnel for retarded people (no offense to retarded people) to go from New York to the rest of the country. I left Long Island at 4am and made it to Philly in less than 90 minutes, a personal best, but I encountered the most ridiculous people at a rest stop. There is no room for rude behavior at 5am. All I wanted to do was pull into a parking spot before i peed myself and this group of people stood directly in front of my truck having a conversation. I even rolled my window down and politely asked if i could get into the spot and received the reply of, "Just a second."!!! GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY BEFORE I PEE ON YOU, is what i should have said in response, but I just glared at him, because I was very tired. I got down to D.C. around 8:30-ish and got poked in the ears, eyes, median cubital vein, and got to pee in a cup. Lucky me. One thing I did not et, however, was answers. Some of my labs weren't beck yet, so I have to wait two weeks. Oh well. i have pics from the weekend and the drive, but mine eyes are weary, so till the morrow.

Get in Gear

Well, it looks like I may have some answers come Monday afternoon regarding my timeline for ceasing employment with my namesake Uncle. I have to go to D.C. again for more poking and then an appointment with the doctor. I have so much time and so little to do!*

pure genius.

Seriously, you look about eleventy.

damnitalltohell

For someone with a friggin sleeping disorder, I feel like I've been getting less and less this week.

Uneventful boringosity

One of the buildings on post (one of the many) is going to be emptied out to accomadate another activity and I'm helping the soon to be previous occupant clean up. There are these two gnarly looking metal cabinets with 4(?) flip-up glass doors. They have to be at least 40-50 years old, probably all lead painted. The entire place'll be gutted so I asked H. if I could load them up in the pick-em-up truck for "someone who could use them". I'm determined to find a use for them. I'll repaint them. I have a decent bookcase, so maybe i could do Army and baseball memorabilia or something. I don't want to get lectured by a certain someone on how i already have no room. I'm well aware. I want them anyway. So there. (loving you)
--Ooh, I knitted last night. It only tok me 3 hours to cast-on and knit-stitch ten rows. I fancy myself to be pretty smart, but I am one of the most uncoordinated fuckers I know. So now I'm making shit. With my own fangers. Who wants a scarf?

Space Shuttle Discovery Launches

I'm glad they're ok. I watched it fromt he NASA website at work. There's so much tension today. Egypt, London, New York, the shuttle launch. NASA Return to Flight i hope they fare well and return safely.

Above, below, and right here

I think I've certified myself as a dork. I totally love Google Earth. I mapped addresses for at least 2 hours yesterday. It's the coolest goddamn thing. You can look at certain areas in 3D as well. It makes me nauseous when it zooms in to a new location though.

There are an alarming amount of Virgin Mary statues in dog houses. Trust me, they're definitely dog houses. I stared at it long and hard.

SO Penn Station was evacuated and I'm subject to search on any public transportation in my fair city. I'm more surprised it took nearly four years.
Bomb Scare Empties NYC's Penn Station

Idle Hands..

I need a hobby. I also need money, energy, and central air conditioning. I'm thinking about knitting. I was never good at it as a child. My grandma taught me how to sew, embroider, cross-stitch and hook, but knitting always escaped me. not that i was any good at any of those either, but I was profoundly bad at knitting. Anyone out there knit? If so, do you enjoy it? Any tips are welcome.

no no no no, this is not important. no.

This can't possibly be a priority. I'm fucking mystified. Pepole are dying, starving, killing, exposing CIA agents who may or may not have been covert operatives blah blah blah, bombing buildings, planes, tubes, and tube stations, raping, kidnapping, and so on, but this is going to solve everything. I think the pod people or the Scientologists or maybe the goddamn lizard men have finally gotten into our brains. My fucking head hurts.

Panel Backs Extension of Daylight-Saving Time
WASHINGTON (July 19) - A joint Senate-House committee working out the details of a broad U.S. energy bill voted on Tuesday to expand U.S. daylight-saving time by two months to help reduce energy consumption.

Negotiators from both chambers are racing against the clock to put a final energy package on President Bush's desk by a self-imposed deadline of Aug. 1.

Among the conflicts to be resolved is the cost of energy production tax breaks, which totaled $8 billion in the House bill and $16 billion in the Senate bill, and legal protection for oil refiners that manufactured a fuel additive suspected of being a carcinogen.

On Tuesday, the negotiators from the Senate and House agreed to move the start of daylight-saving time in the United States one month earlier to the first Sunday in March. The end of daylight time would be delayed one month to the last Sunday in November.

Daylight-saving time occurs each spring when clocks are turned forward by one hour. U.S. clocks go back one hour to standard time in the fall.

Supporters claim extending daylight-saving time would save about 100,000 barrels of oil a day because offices and stores would be open while it was still light outside and therefore use less energy.

Democratic Sen. Jeff Bingaman will try to amend the plan before lawmakers finish the bill by shortening the period that daylight-saving time would be extended. A Bingaman aide pointed out that farmers are opposed to the extra two months because they will have to start their workday in the dark.

Separately, Senate Democrats plan to offer an amendment to the final energy bill to cut U.S. oil consumption by 1 million barrels a day in a decade.

The Senate approved such a plan in its version of energy legislation, while the House rejected it in its energy bill.

House lawmakers with automakers in their districts are against the proposal, fearing it is a backdoor way to require U.S. minivans, sport utility vehicles and pickup trucks to improve their fuel efficiency.

However, some lawmakers believe it makes sense to tighten the mileage requirements of new vehicles because gasoline demand accounts for about 40 percent of total U.S. oil use.

The Senate's plan would not mandate any specific action to reduce oil consumption, and leaves it up to the president to figure out how to save the oil.

One of the major issues that still has to be worked out is whether to give oil companies that make the water-polluting gasoline additive MTBE protection from certain lawsuits.

The House put the liability waiver in its energy bill, while the Senate strongly opposes the lawsuit protection. Republican Joe Barton of Texas, who chairs the House-Senate committee working on the energy bill, is trying to reach a compromise deal on the issue.

Barton has proposed creating a trust fund to help pay for the cleanup, estimated to be in the billions of dollars.

MTBE producers would pay a "significant amount" of the trust fund, said one industry lobbyist negotiating the deal, who declined to elaborate. One sticking point to a deal is some MTBE producers, presumably the smaller companies, may have to pay more into the fund than their expected liability, the lobbyist said.

yay, it's monday.

I saw "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" yesterday. I got a kick out the fact that I saw it a movie theater in East Hampton, NY. A movie about greedy little kids that get spoiled. In the Hamptons. Heh heh. Anyway, it was interesting. And by interesting I mean odd. Like an acid trip. I know that the original movie did not do the book any justice, but that is my vision of the movie, so it was different. I was actually kind of disappointed with the effects. It was so cgi'd. The Oompa Loompa is one guy that they multiplied. That's a whoel topic in itself. The Oompa Loompa songs were not what we all knew them to be. It was darker, and I enjoyed Burton's translation of the book. Johnny Depp played an insane Wonka. Where Gene Wilder's Wonka was crazyand clever at the same time, Depp's portrayal was absolute madness. The kids were evil little bastards too. Augustus, Violet, Veruca, and Mike had no redeeming qualities whatsoever, and the actors that played them were very entertaining. All in all I liked it but I know a lot of people are going to be bothered by the departure from the first movie, which was a departure from the book in the first place.

Oh, and I got really drunk all weekend and got about a gazillion mosquito bites on my feet.

an afterthought

I wouldn't be who I am today were it not for my experiences. I'm definitely the sum of my parts. And thankfully I've found loving, positive people and relationships who have been my "therapists" and I theirs. The bonds I share with my dad and sister and my best friend and boyfriend are the reasons behind my breaking the cycle of toxic relationships and people. There are plenty of people who have had life deal them a much shittier deck than me, and I'm thankful that I'm okay. ::smile::

Bob

I'm bent for finding this amusing
My mother's boyfriend(?) ::wretch:: Bob died on Saturday. Apparently he's had a few heart attacks and strokes over the past year and the last one got him good. I told my dad and aunt (her sister) that I think he asked the nurse to do him in so he wouldn't have to go back. He was in his 70's. My mom is 50. They've lived together for 13 years I think. She had to get the fuck away from us. I guess two trips to rehab wasn't far enough, so she decided to shack up with Bob. Bob lived 3 blocks away. Classy. My dad never divorced her because she has some degenerative disk thing and has to get surgery all the time. I'm pretty sure she'll keep on for a whiel though, as I've heard pain killers and vodka preserve your organs better than formaldehyde. So all this time she and Bob have been yucking it up and my dad chose not to divorce her so she could have his medical coverage. So Bob kicked it. I wouldn't have known this happened if Hurricane Dennis hadn't visited. My aunt and uncle live on the central Gulf Coast of Florida so I emailed her Sunday to see if they were okay. We hadn't spoken in 6 months because I didn' visit her at my uncle's house when she was up to visit because mother was supposed to be there. So she emails me back about Bob and we were ont he phone for a good 2 hours last night. My mother is an extremely unpleasant person. Apparently when her father died a few years ago, she took "her" money and put it in an account under ole boy's name so my dad couldn't use it on court for child support. And oh by the way, she led the hospital to believe she was Bob's wife so she could make decisions regarding DNR's, treatment, etc. What a doll. Um, oh yeah, he left her his house on Eastchester Bay and around $250K in insurance policies, allegedly. So then I hear she was at the funeral home last night or whenever and my other aunt is there and she tells her all this and asks her not to tell Jean (Florida) because she's cool with my dad and she doesn't want him to know. Just so ya's understand, everyone's cool with my dad. My mother's mother liked my dad better than her own daughter. i reassured her that she wouldn't have to tell him, because I was going to as soon as we finished our conversation. We spoke for a while longer and then I got my dad on the horn and pretty much commanded him to call his lawyer. He won't though, as he's a puss and pities her. He met her when they were 22 years old. She had a lovely infant daughter named Samantha who was about 6 months old. Eric knew Samantha's biological "father" as well, not that it mattered, as Neil's involvement with Dena's pregnancy consisted of him kindly suggesting she get an abortion or he was hitting the skids. So they married when Samantha was 3 or so and he went to the courthouse to let them know he was my father and could they correct my birth certificate. That's a Bronx adoption for you. Seven years later they made my doll of a sister. Seven years, 2 trips to rehab and alot of tears after that Elvis left the building. Soooo, i hope she got what she wanted. She's alone in a big house with some money. I bet my dad she wouldn't make it five years.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Drew Carey

-From Dirty Jokes and Beer, "101 Big Dick Jokes"

My dick is so big, there's still snow on it in the summertime.
My dick is so big, I went to The Viper Room and my dick got right in. I had to stand and argue with the doorman.
My dick is so big, I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company.
My dick is so big, it won't return Spielberg's calls.
My dick is so big, it graduated a year ahead of me from high school.
My dick has an elevator and a lobby.
My dick has better credit than I do.
My dick is so big, clowns climb out of it when I cum.
My dick is so big, it was overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.
My dick is so big, it has casters.
My dick is so big, I'm already fucking a girl tomorrow.
My dick is so big, ships use it to find their way into the harbor.
My dick is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. My Dick.
My dick is so big, it lives next door.
My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second, and third.
My dick is so big, it votes.
My dick is a better dresser than I am.
My dick is so big, it has a three-picture deal.
My dick is so big that the head of it has only seen my balls in pictures.
My dick is so big, Hank Aaron used it to hit his 750th home run.
My dick runs the 440 in 15 seconds
My dick is the Walrus, koo koo ka choo.
No matter where I go, my dick always gets there first.
My dick takes longer lunches than I do.
My dick contributed fifty thousand dollars to the Democratic National Committee.
My dick was once the ambassador to China.
My dick is so big, it's gone condo.
My dick hit .270 in the minors before it hurt its knee.
My dick was almost drafted by the Cleveland Browns, but Art Modell didn't want a bigger dick than him on the team.
My dick is so big, I use the Eiffel Tower as a French tickler.
It's so big, when it rains the head of my dick doesn't get wet.
My dick is so big, I could wear it as a tie if I wasn't so afraid of getting a hard-on and killing myself.
My dick is so big, I have to use an elastic zipper.
My dick is so big, it has feet.
My dick is so big, a homeless family lives underneath it.
My dick is so big, it takes four fat women and a team of Clydesdales to jack me off.
My dick is so big, my mother was in labor for three extra days.
My dick is so big, they use the bullet train to test my condoms.
My dick is so big, it has investors.
My dick is so big, it seats six.
My dick is so big, I use a hula hoop as a cock ring.
My dick is so big, we use it at parties as a limbo pole.
My dick is so big, King Kong is going to crawl up it in the next remake.
My dick is so big, it has an opening act.
My dick is so big I can fuck an elevator shaft.
My dick is so big, it has its own Wheaties box.
My dick is so big, I have to cook it breakfast in the mornings.
My dick is so big, the city had to carve a hole in the middle of it so cars could get through.
My dick is so big, every time I get hard I cause a solar eclipse.
My dick is so big, it only plays arenas.
If you cut my dick in two, you can tell how old I am.
My dick was once set on fire for a Dino DiLaurentis movie.
My dick is so big, it needs an airplane warning light.
My dick is so big, Trump owns it.
My dick is so big that we're all a part of it, and it's all a part of us.
My dick is so big, I can never sit in the front row.
My dick is so big, that it has its own dick. And even my dick's dick is bigger than your dick.
My dick is so big, you can't blow me without a ladder.
My dick is so big, it only does one show a night.
My dick is so big, you can ski down it.
My dick is so big, it has an elbow.
My dick is so big, I have to check it as luggage when I fly.
My dick is so big, it has a personal trainer.
My dick is so big, that right now it's in the other room fixing us drinks.
My dick is so big, it has a retractable dome.
My dick is so big, it has stairs up the center like the Statue of Liberty.
My dick is so big, there's a sneaker named "Air My Dick"
My dick is so big, I'm it's bitch.
My dick is so big, it's against the law to fuck me without protective headgear.
My dick is so big, I could fuck a tuba.
My dick is so big, Stephen Hawking has a theory about it.
My dick is so big, it has its own gravity.
NASA once launched a space probe to search for the tip of my dick.
My dick is so big, it's impossible to see all of it without a satellite.
The inside of my dick contains billions and billions of stars.
My dick is so big, it has a spine.
My dick is so big, it has a basement.
My dick is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My Dick.
My dick is more muscular than I am.
My dick is so big it has cable.
My dick is so big, it violates seventeen zoning laws.
My dick is so big, it has its own page in the Sierra Club calendar.
My dick is so big, it has a fifty-yard line.
My dick is so big, I was once in Ohio and got a blow job in Tennessee.
My dick is so big, Las Vegas casinos fly it into town for free.
My dick is so big, I can braid it.
My dick is so big, that when it's Eastern Standard Time at the tip, it's Central Mountain Time at my balls.
My dick is so big, I painted the foreskin red, white, and blue and used it as a flag.
My dick is so big, I can sit on it.
My dick is so big, it can chew gum.
My dick is so big, it only tips with hundreds.
My dick is so big, the Carnegie Deli named a sandwich after it. Actually, two sandwiches.
My dick is so big, the city was going to build a statue of it but they ran out of cement.
My dick is so big, Michael Jackson wants to build an amusement park on it.
My dick is so big, when I get hard my eyebrows get pulled down to my neck.
My dick is so big, you're standing on it.
My dick is so big, it only comes into work when it feels like it.
My dick is so big, it plays golf with the president.
My dick is so big, it charges money for its autograph.
My dick is so big, it has an agent. My dick's people will call your people. Let's have lunch with my dick.
My dick is so big, it's right behind you.

...............!...............?...,,..!?................

I am the blahest blah that ever blahed right now. I kinda feel like I'm almost not here, like a hologram. It's been raining for a few days also. woohoo. The suffering and tragedy will always continue and pass. And as grey and down as I've ever felt, the thought of my last moment consisting of swing from a closet rod doesn't appeal to me in the slightest, but it did for someone and I hope he's at peace with himself if, in fact we really do continue on in a collective memory. I knew him casually.

buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks

I am a Yankee fan. I AM A YANKEE FAN. Born and bred, don't like the Sox purely for the sake of rivalry. I do however, enjoy a good story, especially a well-written baseball story. It's 6 pages long, but if you are an old school fan and cared anything about last year's AL Championship, it's a good read.

For King
The Red Sox's Bloodiest Day

I need a holiday for the holiday, my desk is in a state of total disarray. If you know me for real, you know this is driving me bananas. Also, why doesn't Angelina Jolie adopt a baby from Compton instead of Africa and Cambodia? Color me an Isolationist, but for real.

Enjoy it

Take some time out to do as little as possible. And listen to some music that makes you bop your head, like Beck. See ya's in a few, I need some sun. Oh, and I have more pics on Buzznet.
thesam I'm working on it.