gettin' bloggy with it

Hello there. Been sooooo busy with hating work, haven't felt very expressive. However, I have made some fascinating observations. There is a movie theater in my 'hood. I live in an "urban area" if you will. Said movie theater is a multiplex, the Amboy Multiplex Cinemas, to be exact. I drive by it twice a day, on my way to and from the fantasy that is my job. I've noticed on numerous occasions that they have definitely made an error in the selection of the "guy who spells the shit out" on the billboard. The most recent submission was "Hicth". Nice. I need photographic proof.

fuckin' a right

Hello there, bloggety blogsters. I'm back from the pool of congestion I was drowning in but a few painfully long days ago. Hating my job more than ever, of course. I hate sales, all the guys I work with are pompous jackasses. I didn't know one person could blow quite so much smoke up his own ass. Oh my fucking god.I think my fake enthusiasm was convincing. Pthtbb.


--oh yeah, btw, Hitler and I are not "dawgs" or anything, frightningly insane people fascinate me and I've always wanted to meet one.

cough, cough cough....

I'm feeling all cotton-bally in my sinuses. I want to lay down and whimper but alas, it is not to be. I have to be a grown-up and work. Poor me.

Dead People I'd Have a Conversation With

Bertrand Russell

Hitler

Jesus (if he's real)

My Gramma (yes, Gramma, not grandma)

my dog is a sex offender

So El Poocho and Sammi the wunder-kat are getting along better by the day, but I tihnk we may have had a set back this evening. Sammi's very affectionate, as is Bear, so when they were rubbing heads I said "aww". I decided to put Sammi on the floor to see what would happen. I should have known better. It was horrifying. Bear pinned her to the floor lovingly and engaged himself in his feline gynecologic studies. I had to lift him off to alleviate the kitty crying. Oddly enough he wasn't roughhousing like he usually does. I was witness to interspecies pet porn. Now he's asleep. Pervert.

snow haiku

blizzard of o-5
eighteen inches fell in vain
i still had to work

the things we do for love

What is the most re-goddamn-diculous thing you've done or said for "love"? I was thinking about this the other day. I've been the biggest human doormat known to the civilized world because I thought if I proved my love than it would be reciprocated.

Top Five...

5. Didn't cut my hair for 3 years becuase he liked it that way.
4. Sold his dime bags from my locker because my school had an honor code and didn't search.
3. I flew to Phoenix- on my dime. Got closure out of it and Phoenix is pretty awesome.
2. I almost moved to Japan for Phoenix guy.

-----

1. I paid for a trip for two to New Orleans and the angel cheated on me while we were there.

Here's your lesson for the day:

Don't cry over married guys. He's not going to pick you. And if he was, he would have already.


... The best part of my reflection session was that I realized that I haven't had to be anything but myself since I met Mike. It's the greatest feeling in the world.

eww.

I decided to clean the top of my cupboards this evening. Sounds like a thrill a minute, you say? That's what I do to feel productive after a day at the eighth ring of hell (work). A word to the wise- if you rent an apartment and enjoy putting things on top of your cupboards/ kitchen cabinets, check the cleanliness situation first. Fucking eww. Whoever lived here before me and my menagerie must have cooked with lard every night and never ventilated. I had to scrub with a scotch pad and degreaser. And then the cat decided that was the best time to walk through it, but I think she regretted that when I pushed her into the sink. If I ever decide to install the software for my kick-ass digital camera I may post picutres of the nastiness.

FYI...

Just thought I'd let you's know that the boyfriend's site is down due to registration issues. Should be back soon.

Am I the only one who watches Extreme Makeover Home Edition? I love that damn Ty Pennington.

And now, for something completely different...

Monty Python, anyone?

I fucking hate my job.

I want to tell you a story that has nothing to do with either of the first 2 lines.
I was reading Harley Writer's blog a moment ago and it reminded me of a glaring aspect of Samantha. I am reaeaeaeaelllllyyyy narcoleptic. Not funny, Deuce Bigelow bowling bullshit, rather swerving across the New Jersey Turnpike, "Holy Fuck" narcoleptic. I haven't been
" "diagnosed" " (rock quotes-Dane Cook), but believe me scouts, I'm fucking narcoleptic.

Top Ten

10. Sitting at a red light with both feet on the brake
9. Sitting at said red light and rear-ending an ugly Hummer
8. During mediocre sex a long time ago
7. On the listening end of a conversation
6. Standing up during a class
5. On the speaking end of a conversation
4. While eating
3. During many movies
2. Leaning against a wall
--------------------------

And the number 1 is

Crossing a street.

So I try to sleep according to my body's needs, but that varies from 3 to 10 hours any given night. Good times. Did you know Methylphenidate (Ritalin!) is a treatment for freaks who fall asleep? Did you also know it turns you into Lizzy Borden? None of that shit, thank you very much. One fucking genius physician told me to "drink more coffee". No fuckin-shit chief. I can tell you a dozen different locations in the Tri-State Area where I've slept in my car. I've had at least three people knock on my window and proceed to tell me they had wonderd if I was dead. Ah the eternal optimist. "Tap on the window. Look at her mouth hanging open. I think she's been murdered." Apparently, shithead, you didn't see the drool.

Oh my this is just hideous

http://www.uglydress.com

My men

Guess which is Bear the Stupendous and Mike the Awesome.

No comment.

I have a uniquely round head. 

html challenged

What do you think of my colors? The 70's shag rug theme wasn't quite my stee-lo, know what I'm sayin', dog?

Pretty muted blues and grays, calm and peaceful, much like myself...

...maybe not so much.

I'm a bit of an over thinker. My extraordinarily intelligent father says I'm clumsy because I'm always thinking two steps ahead of my feet, and I think that can be applied to my entire life. I'm very frenetic, overcritical of myself and others, and I'm always talking. It's really quite a phenomenon. If I wasn't so damn vivacious and sparkley, it would be irritating.

Please giggle at this website just a little

http://uglyweddingdress.net

Other than that, I got nothing.

Disgust Abhor Aversion Dislike Displeasure Distaste Disgust

What is "How Samantha feels when she wakes up for work, Alex"?

Blech.

I have 282 days left until I can breathe slightly easier. I am going to take an oathe of not signing contractual employment agreements unless it's a really really good deal. Argh.

Happy F-ing New Year

I wanted to make a post about resolutions, but that's pretty dumb. I want to make a few, but I know there's absolutely no point.

"Don't take criticism so personally."
--Well I know that's one's down the tubes. If you know me beyond webspace, you'd already know I'm an overemotional jackass when I get upset.
"Lose x-amount pounds."
--Please. If it's going to happen, it will, end of story.
When I think of more, I'll be back. Off to the coal mines.

Christmas traffic makes me all warm and cozy inside

So it took twice as long to get to the boyfriend's house this evening, surprise surprise. It wouldn't be very Christmas-y of me to run your non-driving ass off the road, now would it?

All hail the queen of procrastination...Alternate title "Ooh look at the shiny thing"

I am writing when I should be walking my dog, wrapping presents, vacuuming, or the many other grown-up tasks that await me in my palacial one bedroom apartment surroundings. Bah.

So there I was...

I had a friend.

That's not right, because I'm pretty sure he's still alive, so, I HAVE a friend. Steve Cotton, yes, real name. When we spent a few months in the Middle Eastern paradise, we often had to find creative ways to amuse oursleves. "So there I was"... naked with nothing to claim but a roll of toilet paper, 5 liters of water, and a pack of cigarettes. We'd add new silly stories for hours to help pass the time. I miss the simplicity. I was watching the news earlier, and I realized how frustrating this war is.
I'm a soldier. Not much of one in the traditional sense lately, but nevertheless, I know how to handle an M16. I see my brothers and sisters and I'm envious as well as thankful, sad and pissed. It goes without saying that I'm thankful and fortunate that every evening, early or late, I get to sleep under clean sheets without a flak vest. And that's all there is to it. Some of us made a decision to defend our nation. The decisions our government makes won't always coincide with personal beliefs, and so if you disagree with them, congrats, you have just experienced democracy in action. I just got home after eating some delicious mussels, a glass of sangria, and some decent conversation. Thank you for the opportunity to do that, sisters and brothers in green, If it wasn't for you and me, and everyone who stood in the face of indifference and said "I have the courage to make the wrong decision", I may have never had the opportunity to have a drink and make a new friend.

I didn't want to do that, but you left me no choice.